“Real Love”
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Mamie Adams always went to a branch post office in her town because the postal employees there were friendly. She went there to buy stamps just before Christmas one year and the lines were particularly long. Someone pointed out that there was no need to wait in line because there was a stamp machine in the lobby. "I know," said Mamie, 'but the machine won't ask me about my arthritis."
Kindness… Such a wonderful feeling you get when you receive it. An amazing and powerful characteristic of a human being. Something so attractive. Something so helpful for many. Something so necessary for even getting through a day. But unfortunately something rarely found in our current culture and social structure. Small acts of kindness even surprise us today.
Moreover and even worse maybe something lacking in in our church culture and community. How is this possible? We’re not supposed to be this way. Loving each other is not a suggestion for us a Christians, but a command from our living God. How destructive is this missing attribute in a secular environment or worldly group, how much more devastating it is in a community where we are supposed to know better. I have said it before and I’ll say it again… I have met some of the nicest people in the world in the church and I have met some of the meanest people I have met in the church.
One of the reasons why I think this is a problem is society and especially in the church today is our inability to differentiate between loving someone and liking someone.
So as can see we have some real issues that we need to overcome in the church today. But how are we gonna do that? Where do we start? That is the information John is going to give us today.
We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
1 John 3:16-18
The grass withers the flower fades but the Word of our God stands forever.
Real Love
Closing the Heart
Truth in Action
The first thing we will look at today is a clear illustration of what real love looks like and how its essence is self sacrifice. The second point of interest is a negative illustration of closing a heart accepting the ultimate, yet denying the insignificant. Finally, we will see how truth in action is not just the evidence of life, but that which actually brought us life.
Thesis: Though sin and the sinful pattern of this world cause us to see self interest as the primary principle of life, it is the truth of the gospel and the power of the Holy Sprit that will open our eyes to the reality of real love primarily shown in self-sacrifice, displayed by the cross of Christ.
I. Real Love
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- The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
A. So I said at the beginning where do we start? Well John is starting us off with an understand of what real love is. The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.
B. The context reveals the implication that the definition of love is in question. And this common for us today… the question asked by many popularized by foreigner when it sung I wanna know what love is. Many will say that they love, but in the end they do not. What then is real love? The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
C. Today, most people consider the first law of life to be self-preservation. Jesus teaches us that the first law of spiritual life is self-sacrifice. He not only teaches us this truth, but he demonstrated it on our behalf. Jesus giving up his life. Jesus’ death on the cross is not a passive death comparable to the sacrificial death of an animal. Jesus died actively and purposefully. Of his own will he laid down his life for his people. If, then, Jesus gave his life for us, what is our obligation to him?
Most people consider the first law of life to be self-preservation. Jesus teaches us that the first law of spiritual life is self-sacrifice. He not only teaches us this truth, but he demonstrated it on our behalf.
Jesus’ death on the cross is not a passive death comparable to the sacrificial death of an animal. Jesus died actively and purposefully. Of his own will he laid down his life for his people. If, then, Jesus gave his life for us, what is our obligation to him?
Allen, D. L. (2013). 1–3 John: Fellowship in God’s Family. (R. K. Hughes, Ed.) (p. 155). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.Jesus giving up his life. And when it is said that we are to love our brothers and sisters… it means that we will give up our lives for them as well.
D. When it is said that we ought to love our brothers and sisters… it means that we will give up our lives for them as well. The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
- A woman, carrying her baby on her back, was trapped by a prairie fire. As she looked about, she realized there was no way of escape. Hurriedly she took the baby off her back and began digging a hole in the earth with her bare hands. She then placed her child into it and covered the child with her body. Later the woman was found dead, but the child was saved.
E. When he says ought, he imposes a moral obligation: as Jesus extends his love by giving his life, so the Christian ought to express his love for the believers by being willing to lay down his life for them. When the honor of God’s name, the advancement of his church, and the need of his people demand that we love our brothers, we ought to show our love at all cost—even to the point of risking and losing our lives. Realize that our life is considered to be our most precious possession. That is the extent of love. The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
F. The way of Cain is expressed in the sacrifice of others, but the way of Christ is sacrifice of self. The essence of love is self-sacrifice. But this seems foreign in our culture today. Self interest, self preservation, self indulgence, self centeredness continues to be the unspoken principles and standards of life. Life coaching, life principles for success continues to find itself in the pulpits of churches all over. The teaching continues to have us focus on OURSELVES!!! But our mindset should not be on ourselves, but on others...
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
G. Our focus and efforts are to be directed to that of our Lord Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. To bring fruit to the kingdom of Christ. And all that we would achieve in this life… cast it before the feet of our King. Are we working for a better life for self or are other peoples live better because of you. Being successful is different from being sanctified. Disciples do not wake up working for self improvement… we wake up dying to self. The essence of love is self-sacrifice.
H. That is the reality of real love for others, but what is the reality of indifference to others look like?
John has an answer, for he writes, “And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” When he says ought, he imposes a moral obligation: as Jesus extends his love by giving his life, so the Christian ought to express his love for the believers by being willing to lay down his life for them. When the honor of God’s name, the advancement of his church, and the need of his people demand that we love our brothers, we ought to show our love at all cost—even to the point of risking and losing our lives.
II. Closing the Heart
- Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
A. But true love is revealed not only in the supreme sacrifice; it is expressed in all lesser gifts. Not many of us are called to lay down our lives in some deed of heroism, but we constantly have the opportunity to share our possessions with those in need. Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?
But true love is revealed not only in the supreme sacrifice; it is expressed in all lesser givings. Not many of us are called to lay down our lives in some deed of heroism, but we constantly have the much more prosaic opportunity to share our possessions with those in need
B. It was written by CH Dodd. Love is “the willingness to surrender that which has value for our own life, to enrich the life of another.” But the problem that arises before us is brilliantly stated by Dr. John Stott.
Stott, J. R. W. (1988). The Letters of John: An Introduction and Commentary (Vol. 19, p. 145). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Love is ‘the willingness to surrender that which has value for our own life, to enrich the life of another’ (Dodd).
Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953–2001). Exposition of James and the Epistles of John (Vol. 14, p. 310). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.
- The transition from the plural (‘our brothers’, 6) to the singular (his brother, 17) is deliberate and significant. ‘It is easier to be enthusiastic about Humanity with a capital “H” than it is to love individual men and women, especially those who are uninteresting, exasperating, depraved, or otherwise unattractive. Loving everybody in general may be an excuse for loving nobody in particular’. Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
- Saying we love everybody in general may become an excuse for loving nobody in particular! Like the little boy on the crowded elevator who was overheard to say, “Mommy, I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand,”
Saying we love everybody in general may become an excuse for loving nobody in particular! Like the little boy on the crowded elevator who was overheard to say, “Mommy, I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand,”
The transition from the plural (‘our brothers’, 6) to the singular (his brother, 17) is deliberate and significant. ‘It is easier to be enthusiastic about Humanity with a capital “H” than it is to love individual men and women, especially those who are uninteresting, exasperating, depraved, or otherwise unattractive. Loving everybody in general may be an excuse for loving nobody in particular’ (Lewis). So
Stott, J. R. W. (1988). The Letters of John: An Introduction and Commentary (Vol. 19, p. 145). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Allen, D. L. (2013). 1–3 John: Fellowship in God’s Family. (R. K. Hughes, Ed.) (p. 157). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
C. If we are able to do something about the need that we see in our brother and we cast a blind eye, there is something wrong. Sure, believe it or not, it might be easy to say yup I love you enough to die for you, but for many it is way harder to sacrifice our material goods, like time, money, talents, or even toilet paper for persons. Why? Because the ultimate sacrifice is unlikely in our day and age and so the reality of that sacrifice is unlikely. Sacrifice of time and money is an actual sacrifice. Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
Stott, J. R. W. (1988). The Letters of John: An Introduction and Commentary (Vol. 19, p. 145). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
D. Also, much of our problem in society today is our premium on lifestyle not life. Again, we seem to be more concerned about of life style then our own lives. Lots of expressions today regarding not even wanting to live life if we can’t have the kind of life we want. Cant have the life we want, better to just die. Sacrifice of material goods cause us to diminish in lifestyle. That cant happen. Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
E. This individual, according to John is self-centered and has no regard for his spiritual brother. This person portrays a stark contrast to the love of Jesus. In the light of Christ’s self-giving love for them, the author says, they should not close their hearts toward fellow believers in material need. In fact, they cannot close their hearts to them and still rightly claim that the love of God remains in them. Do not close your heart! Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
F. may provide the background to the idea of closing one’s heart towards others in need.
may provide the background to the idea of closing one’s heart towards others in need.
“But if there are any poor Israelites in your towns when you arrive in the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hard-hearted or tightfisted toward them. Instead, be generous and lend them whatever they need. Do not be mean-spirited and refuse someone a loan because the year for canceling debts is close at hand. If you refuse to make the loan and the needy person cries out to the Lord, you will be considered guilty of sin.
In the light of Christ’s self-giving love for them, the author says, they should not close their hearts toward fellow believers in material need. In fact, they cannot close their hearts to them and still rightly claim that the love of God remains in them.
He is self-centered and has no regard for his spiritual brother. This person portrays a stark contrast to the love of Jesus. He denies his brother the basic necessities of life, whereas Jesus willingly laid down his life for his followers.
G. In this passage the Israelites were cautioned against allowing a calculating meanness to cause them to close their hearts when confronted with a poor and needy person. They were to be generous and lend to the poor even if the seventh year (when all debts would be cancelled) was near. It is perhaps with this passage in mind that the author reminds his readers that the love of God and meanness of spirit cannot coexist. Not just the ultimate, but also the insignificant.
Kruse, C. G. (2000). The letters of John (p. 138). Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos.
H. Unloving indifference, hatred, animosity, unforgiveness cannot be the norm, but the exception for those transformed by the power of the Spirit. Not just in the ultimate, but in the insignificant as well. You cannot love God and hate your neighbor.
In this passage the Israelites were cautioned against allowing a calculating meanness to cause them to close their hearts when confronted with a poor and needy person. They were to be generous and lend to the poor even if the seventh year (when all debts would be cancelled) was near. It is perhaps with this passage in mind that the author reminds his readers that the love of God and meanness of spirit cannot coexist.
III. Truth in Action
Kruse, C. G. (2000). The letters of John (p. 138). Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos.
- All talk and no walk.
A. John introduces a final exhortation based on his preceding argument. We should not merely love in all talk and no walk.
John introduces a final exhortation based on his preceding argument. We should not merely love in “word” and “talk.”
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
B. People in need don’t just need to hear a word of encouragement. James makes this clear.
Allen, D. L. (2013). 1–3 John: Fellowship in God’s Family. (R. K. Hughes, Ed.) (p. 158). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
People in need don’t just need to hear a word of encouragement such
Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?
Allen, D. L. (2013). 1–3 John: Fellowship in God’s Family. (R. K. Hughes, Ed.) (p. 158). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
C. Rather, we are to love “in deed and in truth.” The word for “deed” in the Greek New Testament is the noun ergon, which means “work” or “action.” In our culture we use a word the first part of which comes from this Greek word ergon—ergonomics. Ergonomics is the study of how the workplace and the equipment used in the workplace can best be designed for efficiency, productivity, comfort, and safety. It also is used to describe the qualities in the design of equipment used at work that contributes to efficiency and productivity.
Allen, D. L. (2013). 1–3 John: Fellowship in God’s Family. (R. K. Hughes, Ed.) (pp. 158–159). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.
D. It may be helpful to summarize the teaching in this passage about hatred and love. Hatred characterizes the world, whose prototype is Cain. It originates in the devil, issues in murder and is evidence of spiritual death. Love characterizes the church, whose prototype is Christ. It originates in God, issues in self-sacrifice, and is evidence of eternal life.
It may be helpful to summarize the teaching in this passage about hatred and love. Hatred characterizes the world, whose prototype is Cain. It originates in the devil, issues in murder and is evidence of spiritual death. Love characterizes the church, whose prototype is Christ. It originates in God, issues in self-sacrifice, and is evidence of eternal life.
E. George Whitfield told the story of the poor beggar who asked a pastor for alms. When the pastor refused, the beggar asked the pastor for a blessing. “God bless you,” answered the pastor. “Oh,” replied the beggar, “you would not give me that if it was worth anything.”
George Whitfield told the story of the poor beggar who asked a pastor for alms. When the pastor refused, the beggar asked the pastor for a blessing. “God bless you,” answered the pastor. “Oh,” replied the beggar, “you would not give me that if it was worth anything.”
F. Our love should be genuinely demonstrated in action. A modern version of the Parable of the Good Samaritan would have the priest and the Levite saying to the beaten-up traveler, “Man, you need help, but I don’t need you.” I sometimes think fundamentally some of us really would like nothing better in this world than to purchase a life membership in the “American Association of Bystanders. We can’t just give lip service to love; we must do something about it. When it comes to putting love into action, some Christians are like the occasional lazy student I have had in my class: they want to get a passing grade but do as little work as possible.
Our love should be genuinely demonstrated in action. A modern version of the Parable of the Good Samaritan would have the priest and the Levite saying to the beaten-up traveler, “Man, you need help, but I don’t need you.” I sometimes think fundamentally some of us really would like nothing better in this world than to purchase a life membership in the “Association of Bystanders.”29 We can’t just give lip service to love; we must do something about it. When it comes to putting love into action, some Christians are like the occasional lazy student I have had in my class: they want to get a passing grade but do as little work as possible.
G. It is because we still struggle with sin. The flesh is a reality and causes us to struggle in our perception of others. Our outlook on others. Our conclusion of others. When it comes to loving God, loving our neighbor is right there with it. But there is failure. There is transgression.
H. But there is forgiveness for us today. There was action to the expression of love from our Heavenly Father. We know it… we see it.
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
I. And get this family… it was the sacrifice of His Son. Let me let you in on a little secret… I would be willing to let you kill me before my son.
Kruse, C. G. (2000). The letters of John (p. 137). Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos.
Kistemaker, S. J., & Hendriksen, W. (1953–2001). Exposition of James and the Epistles of John (Vol. 14, p. 311). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.